World-renowned author Alex Keegan who wasn't a bald Albanian albino with piercing red eyes but who was famous all over the third planet from the sun, glanced manfully into a Rothschild & Mafeking gold mirror with a manful glance at his once manly but now aging body which wasn't quite as manly as it was when he was younger than he was now.
He looked into (but not really "into" as the light rays were in fact being reflected back by a special reflective surface which reversed the direction of light waves in a reflective way) the £6,235,786:02p mirror that hung like a very expensive mirror in his renowned very, very expensive bedroom. 'I shall sell it to Science,' manfully but creakily mused the world-famous wordsmith who was famous all over the world. The very very expensive mirror had needed seventeen artisans fromm Lithuania to put the very very expensive mirror on the wall, and as the renowned Alex Keegan perceived the image of his undressed bare self naked in the mirror (but not really in the mirror, really it was on his retina and upside down) he thought, "Now THAT is well-hung."
with a heads up to the very funny article in yesterday's Telegraph